My Return

I feel utterly overwhelmed, but also vacant. Always in a strange, paradoxical state.  It’s been nearly two years since I last wrote. I’ve returned with a different vision for this blog. I hope to use it to organize my life and ambitions, as well as log my accomplishments and things I might find worthwhile sharing with my future self (and dare I say future offspring). You know that feeling you get when there’s absolutely too much to do and you feel paralyzed? I’ve been feeling that way for the past year. Here’s what I hope to do and gain from frequently posting on this blog.

  1. By always having my list of life priorities simply staring at me, I hope that I will be better able to manage them.
  2. To help me create a list of priorities-I often want do so many different things that I fail to focus and follow through as much as I’d like.
  3. By organizing all the things that need to be done, I hope that I will be more motivated, efficient and productive.
  4. I hope to practice (and hopefully improve) my writing skills. I hope to improve not only my style of writing but to be able to implement my newfound in depth (to an extent) knowledge of linguistics. (I have seriously been considering pursuing teaching in an academic environment once I graduate, and I think strong writing skills are quite important in helping me reach this goal. I also am considering teaching the GMAT while I’m in school so I can continue to have teaching experience-knowledge and practice of English linguistics will be quite helpful here. This topic will likely be addressed in an entire blog post quite soon.)
  5. To better understand myself in the present and in the future.
  6. To reflect on things I have learned and decisions I have made.
  7. To have a log that helps me feel more accountable for the things I have done and the things that I haven’t.
  8. I hope that this blog will be a delightful (and somewhat productive) form of de-stressing.
  9. To foster my creativity! I hope to post recipes and DIY projects that I am particularly proud of.
  10. To figure out what I should be doing with my life!

I feel somewhat narcissistic, as if I am writing myself a love letter. I do hope that this blog will help me better myself. And on another note, why is my wordpress username “pumpkinpie22”? I do not even like pumpkin pie. And on another, more alarming note, I am 26, how terrifying (I am assuming I was 22 when I created that username).

Until next time.

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Unfinished

She opened up her hands and pressed them against the cold tiles of the shower wall. She took in the feeling of the scorching hot water penetrating her back. She rested her forehead between her fingertips. Her body was claiming defeat. She let the tears roll down her cheeks. No shaking, no sobbing, just tears. Continue reading

Beautiful People Part IV

To have someone who knows how to get you past those superficial problems you discuss to occupy your mind. To have someone who can ask you the right questions and like water rushing past a broken dam, your thoughts and feelings pour out desperately, longingly, relentlessly. Continue reading

Beautiful People Part III

People often say that the best times are always had with the ones we love. But I would beg to differ. I think the best times are sometimes had when we are sitting all by ourselves. When we are lost in our thoughts, enveloped in our dreams and often enough when we feel that warm embrace of nostalgia. Such was this morning for me.  Continue reading

Purity

“If you look into your heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?” -Confucius

This quote had called out to her for quite some time. For her it was beautiful and optimistic. It reminded her that God appreciates a pure heart and sincere intentions. The idea that being good and genuine was all we needed to be was so charming and reassuring. People often speak condescendingly of those who express themselves through quotes. Perhaps it was just her love for the beauty of words that made her scrunch up her nose at comments of such nature. Or maybe it was the fact that she found an enigmatic beauty in the idea that so many people could relate to one individual’s thoughts, and that so many people could take another’s experience and make it their own. It may have been the beautiful fact that those very same words were taken in and re-expressed with such new meaning and emotion every time they were uttered once more. Or that as superficial as a quote may seem at first, as much thought as we give it, the more profound and meaningful it becomes. In light of this last reason, her thoughts on Confucius’ words had changed drastically over the past few days, her heart was no longer at ease. Continue reading